Desperately Seeking Parenting Advice | Dealing with “No” and Timeouts

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Whoever said that parenting was the hardest job in the world, and the most rewarding was absolutely right. Lately my husband and I have been dealing with some hard times in the parenting department.

How do you deal with a child who won’t listen to you.. who despises the word “No” and throws a monstrous fit every time he hears it?

This is something my husband and I are trying to figure out and we are pulling our hair out while trying to do it…

My son has just turned 4 and timeouts in his room have turned into a fit while throwing everything in his room at the door, screaming at the top of his lungs and kicking the door with his feet. I can see this becoming a big problem as he gets older and we are loss of what to do.

We’ve taken Love & Logic classes before and they worked when he was little, maybe we need to retake the course?

Do you have a child who is like this when they don’t get their way?

How do you handle this situation in your home?

- Desperately seeking relief in the parenting department

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Hi! I’m Amanda, a Kansas City Lifestyle Blogger, mom of two little people, social media nerd, travel junkie with a slight obsession to baking and Zumba.

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  • So I am curious if you have found anything that works?? My daughter will be 3 in two months and lately she has been screaming, saying ‘no’ to everything, and just being generally defiant. I feel like i’ve lost my sweet little girl at times! It’s so frustrating. I’m not sure if it is a phase or my parenting is failing!! I feel like I am talking to a brick wall. If you have tips or found a trick let me know!

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  • My daughter is only 17months old and she has started acting out like crazy, I find myself without answers and many times feeling like a bad parent. I recently begun doing time outs and I am hoping for a positive outcome. I have come to realize that I am not as patient as I once considered myself. I Definetly have no answers but it’s good to know we don’t struggle alone.

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  • My daughter is starting in the terrible Two’s & I tell her “No” and looks at me with a smile & says “HI”…LOL Thank you for this blog…

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  • We always tried not to use the word no with my son and although he doesn’t do that, he is 3 and we are dealing with the tantrum issue. I think all you can do is remain consistent as much as it stinks (I know firsthand). I mean it can be tough in public, etc, but I am not sure what else to do either. He loses special things and we talk about it once we calm down. That is the only think I know what to do

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  • I’m going to check out the book 1-2-3 Magic for sure. Thanks for all the great information.

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  • Time out in the corner…no tv, no videos, no gadgets, no books, no toys… no, not even the blankie.
    Plus the longer you scream and act out, the longer we ignore you and the longer the duration of the time out.

    Keep your word…otherwise everything becomes negotiable.

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  • Hey there Mommy!

    I am sorry you are having a hard time right now with your 4-year old. My husband and I were having a hard time with our two-year old boy with temper tantrums and disobeying. We were doing timeouts, but they just weren’t working either. After a lot of soul searching and a good chat with a friend, we decided to spank our child. A lot of folks are horrified when I say “spank” but it really works for us and our son. The one thing I am sure to do however, is NEVER EVER spank when I am angry. I also use a wooden spoon (never my hand because I associate my hands with more loving gestures) and give my son a verbal warning that if he doesn’t change his behavior, he is going to get a spank. Or I will tell him, he needs to make a better choice or else he’ll get a spank. I spank him somewhere private (in my bathroom) and always give him lots of hugs and kisses afterwards. I also chat with him about why he got a spank.

    I think kids really need boundaries, in fact…I’ve discovered that my little guy has been a lot more lovey dovey with us since we started the spanking. I think that is because he knows that he is safe within those boundaries.

    I hope my experience can help you in some way. Good luck!

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  • My little one will turn 2 tomorrow, and her favorite word is NO. Wow, it such so hard to do a negotiation when she already said NO. I desperately needs some advice too, how to dealing with NO word, :(

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  • That book sounds interesting!

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  • Well my grandson like the word NO and refuses time outs. I usually tell him no unless – eat your lunch or let me cut your fingernails something I want him to do as a trade for and he ususally will do what I originally want him to do. Some days I just walk away and let him throw his tantrum on the floor and go back in a few minutes and hes almost always done with his fit and realizes it didnt faze me at all. Parents and grandparent have to be on the same page mostly . But of course us grandparents are always told we spoil them LOL

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  • Different children respond differently to any one technique. I think the main thing is to make sure your son understands the reason behind time-out or whatever other technique you try. Sometimes when you ask children a question like “Why do you think I want you to [do whatever method you choose] ?” you might be surprised by their answers. The way an adult views a problem is different from the way children view it. Some children feel empowered when they are involved in choosing a discipline method. The most important part is that they must understand that these techniques are meant to teach them a certain behavior, not a punishment to cause hurt. I hope this helps.
    Esther recently posted..Does Your Child Hate School?

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